Husbands and wives who are about to separate and divorce are faced with a very difficult problem. In its simplest terms, that problem is how each of them is going to be able to manage financially following their divorce. That problem, in turn, raises a question, which is, what obligation should one of them have to the other (and to their children) to be concerned with how they will be able to manage financially?
That leaves them with a choice. They can retain separate lawyers and go to war over this problem. Or they can sit down and, with some help, resolve it on their own. If they go to war, their object will simply be to get as much as they can and to give as little as they have to. Nor will it make any difference if that victory is at the other’s expense. Since both of their lawyers will view their job to be to win at any cost, neither will care where that leaves the other, or whether he or she will be able to manage at all.
If the two of them sit down and attempt to address this problem sensibly and responsibly, their object will be very different. It will not be to solve the problem for one of them alone. It will be to solve the problem for both of them. Divorce Mediation Professionals was founded in the belief that there is only one rational choice here. Divorce is difficult enough without making a game of it. (It is certainly far too important to be made into the legal version of a tug of war in which one or both of the parties invariably end up getting dragged through the dirt.) To be sure, there will be very painful feelings that one or both of the parties are experiencing that may make it difficult for them to sit down and attempt to deal with their problem responsibly. Nevertheless, common sense is enough to tell them that it is far better to keep those painful feelings in check rather than to give them expression, which is what will inevitably happen if they turn to adversarial divorce proceedings, and legal warfare.
This is particularly true if they have children. It is always children who get caught in the middle of that tug of war - when loyalties to one or both of their parents are necessarily called into question. Again, common sense tells you that your children should be sheltered from this. It also tells you that they need a mother and father who will be able to work together for their best interests, rather than parents who are bitter enemies, when all of this is done and over. It tells you something else, as well - that it is far better to save your money to put your children through college than it is to give it to lawyers to finance their children’s college educations.
Benefits of Divorce Mediation
• Improved relationships between children and both parents
• Significant cost savings (avoid the adversarial costs of drawing pleadings, making motions, appearing in court, etc.)
• Significant time savings (avoid the time and stress of litigation)
• More control over your decisions
• Privacy as you work out an agreement in an open, cooperative atmosphere
• Assistance in keeping emotions separate from practical decisions
• Ability to resolve future issues in your agreement, thereby avoiding later disagreement
• An informed process, so that each person fully understands the consequences of their decisions
Manhattan Divorce Mediation Center YS Mediation Center is inviting individuals in need of effective conflict resolution services in New York to contact them today for a free case review.